This is poem #3 in my November poetry challenge. I'm writing 30 poems in 30 days, and posting them here as a way of holding myself accountable so I'll actually get them done. And yes, I see the irony of posting this particular poem here. But it is what came out of the pen tonight.
Enough
Others' eyes are my mirror.
An appreciative gleam
and I stand straighter.
My lips quirk
and my hips
sway
just a bit more.
I send phrases and images
across the internet
and wait impatiently for the echoes
that tell me I am heard,
I am admired.
A touch
and I feel wanted.
It gets to be an addiction.
More.
I crave the input, the attention,
hungry to see myself reflected back
strong, beautiful, talented.
More. Give me more.
It's not enough.
Let me wrap your heat around me
because I'm still
cold.
I need...
I need to step back. Turn away.
Let it go, and look inward.
See.
Who am I
when I stand alone?
Without the influx...
what am I?
Inside, curled in on herself
shivering
there is a woman there
who is uncertain.
Scared.
Who sees herself aging,
thicker, gray.
Who looks at her creations
and whispers, "Just a hobby."
Who is afraid of not being
enough.
I need to cherish that woman.
I. Not others.
I need to send her flowers,
take her on dates.
I need to wrap her in comfort
and spoil her
with soft textured velvets
and sensuous silks smooth
against our skin
just for the wriggling joy of it.
I need to provide her
a warm sheltered nest
to curl up in
and toys to play with
so we can create
beauty
just for our own pleasure.
Because I am
enough.
Just me.
-Melissa McCollum
11/3/10
Melissa, you said it for me! Thank you. I'm going to print this out & hang it where I can see it and re-read it often.
ReplyDeleteKathy in California
Yup. Enough. 8-] This is a kewl challenge you've given yourself.
ReplyDeleteThank you both for stopping by, and for reading.
ReplyDelete